Confessions of a Squash League Captain: Yes, This Is How I Get My Meaning In Life

For the last two years I've captained a 4.5 team at Open Squash's Bryant Park location in New York City. Once the season gets started in November, it's a part-time job to keep track of 18 team members. I'd be lying, though, if I said it was a chore. I love how being a squash league captain gives my weeks a sense of rhythm and purpose. Being honest, it's a privilege. I'm not saying squash is more important than religion or anything, but for me it does come pretty close. 

We have our games on Wednesday nights, and even if I'm not playing I love to go along and cheer the team on. Recently our Bryant Park team played against the Open Squash FiDi team and it was a dramatic finish. I couldn’t be there in person because I had a board meeting for New York Squash, which runs the league, but our team were all keeping each other updated in the WhatsApp group. Akasha Sarwar (left) won the deciding match in the fifth, 11-9, and his teammates Nick Guy and Daraius Sumariwalla (center, right) were there to cheer him on and give him tips all the way to the end. I realize a cup final game or a coronation might be bigger events in historic terms but I don’t think there’s more sense of drama and intrigue than seeing your mates win and lose on a Wednesday night. When it comes down to the wire you’re on the edge of your seat. My fitness tracker thought I was working out from seeing my pulse rate go up. It’s amazingly exciting. 

We've noticed that most other teams in the league don't tend to support each other. The players might show up for their game and then go home. I love that our Hot Dogs team (last year, we were the "Underdogs," and missed the playoffs by...a long way) like to cheer, while sticking within the bounds of what's sporting, of course. Sometimes we have a beer or two, and once, there was even a cheese plate, which was magical. 

Players who don't take part in the league on Wednesday night might instead go to the Wednesday Whirl. That's a structured practice at Bryant Park, led by PSA #50 Peter Creed, the Director of Squash there. He leads a series of drills and conditioned games including fitness drills. There's a loyal pack of “dogs” who like to go along, and some of them book a court or two afterwards, to continue hitting. Peter has focused on improving our collective level and I appreciate it a lot. We all do. There are also a few whatsapp groups for groups of players who like to play together more regularly, compare Whoop scores, and generally obsess over the game. 

After the Wednesday night game, I have to file the scores with the league. Most weeks it's pretty straightforward but sometimes there can be disputes. Recently, for example, a rival team fielded an "un-rostered" player in the number one spot. He had a much higher rating than our level until quite recently. Since he won the decider, I asked the league whether the win still counted. Luckily the league, it turns out, has a studious set of administrators. Justin Berlin and Benjamin Baum are sticklers for the rules. They serve as volunteers with New York Squash, the New York affiliate of U.S. squash, and run things with an iron fist. In the end, they told our rival club that they'd have to give up the deciding match. I shared all the developments with my team over Whatsapp. They were all delighted to see justice prevail. This came out via a few dog emojis and hot dog emojis, so you could tell they cared about it as much as I did. 

Most of the time everything is good-natured and fun. But a couple of years ago I was playing on a team when a rival player hit our guy with his racket. It happened at 8-8 in the fifth game so there was some question about how accidental it was. Did he just follow through a bit harder than usual on his backhand? Or was there more to it? I ran onto the court and made sure he was alright because he dropped like a stone. He wasn't. The league ruled against the other player after hearing everyone's side of the story. We won the game by default. I was grateful again that the leauge upheld a high standard of sportsmanship and fair play. That player is still on my team and I'm glad he trusted me to go to bat for him. 

By Thursday night I ask the team to fill out their availability for next week's match in our spreadsheet. I keep the players' ratings up-to-date based on their U.S. Squash rating on the clublocker website. Then on Friday morning I'll use a randomizer formula to pick the line-up for the following week. Everyone always asks me to put a thumb on the scale but with 18 players I have to be fair. It’s the burden of being in charge. I imagine Julius Caesar felt similar until the tricky thing with Brutus. Fortunately Dov Kleiner, my co-captain, is a very loyal deputy and also, a lawyer, which hasn’t been a necessary skill-set so far, but you never know. 

Then I send out the line-up, players 1, 2, and 3, and share it with our rival captains. We line up the next week’s games and make sure everyone knows where to go for the match. 

Sunday at 2 p.m., many of our players will attend an hour-long 2 p.m. practice with Peter. Again, we're all focused on getting better. Peter's excellent music choices help with motivation. Lately he's been going through a Britpop streak. Then it’s Wednesday again! We play home and away matches and it's always a pleasure to see inside the other squash communities. From the Harvard Club and the Yale Club to the University Club and Street Squash, there's a wide variety. In New York City, where more than 800 people play league, it's an absolute delight to take part. We had a team dinner at the end of last year's less-than-stellar season. Now we're third in the league going into Thanksgiving and I'm hopeful we'll win a few more matches in the New Year. I hope this year we'll have a bit of a better dinner to celebrate a bit of a bettter performance. But: Who knows? 

It would also be great if I could roster myself to play a match sometimes. I haven't played in the league since last year. But the truth is, it's such a pleasure to run the team through the year that I don't need to be on the court all the time. Plenty of our team are a lot better than me, too, so if I want us to win, I must fall on my sword, and that's a good thing for anyone. You should try it. Actually really: You should try it. Become a New York squash league captain! It’s brilliant! 

—If you’d like to play in the New York Squash league, Open Squash has a variety of teams at all levels. Talk to David Hughes or email him at david.hughes@opensquash.org and he’ll introduce you to the right captain.